“Apocalypso”
That’s right ladies and gentlemen, it’s happened today. 5 signs of the apocalypse or the “apocalypso” as I now like to call it seeing as how it’s happening in tropical Miami. I’m even breaking my rule of no wine on a school night, but hell I’ve had a rough one here in hell. Can the apocalypse happen in Hell?
1. I got to leave work early today. The FN decided that I’d done enough secretarial work to service the entire government, so I got to go work on my paper. I went to Borders, which has become my local coffee haunt. It’s great—it actually makes me feel like I’m a regular in this irregular world.
2. When I was there working, my law and psychology books scattered around me, a nice older gentleman sat down at the table next to me. He was drinking a mocha frappachino, which is unusual for a grown man of his age, given that hoochie mamas and ho bags like me take to them (although I was drinking a medium latte with gingerbread—true to form) much more than the Mr. Rodgers type. He asked me if I was in law school and I proceeded to tell him about the legal psych program. He thought it was so wonderful and found it very interesting; he was finishing up some sort of a medical degree. Later, he interrupted to ask if I had any children. I replied that I did not and he told me “Children are a beautiful thing, you’ll know when you have them.” We’d both just watch this big burly father ever so gently brush the hair off his daughters forehead. He mentioned how beautiful that site just was and then said he wished his children were young again so he could pick them up. He said that he wouldn’t interrupt me again. I said that it was no bother and it was actually very nice to have someone to talk to. He made a sweet and kind face and I have to use every muscle in my body to keep it together. Nick.
3. As I approached my car, I exchanged smiles and a hello with a nice looking man. He stopped and asked where he knew me from. I was like ummmm…he figured probably Borders. Ladies, you all KNOW I remember people. Although he wasn’t my type, I would have remembered if I had seen him given he was pretty distinctive. I noticed the DSM-IV in his hands and asked what program he was in. Have no idea what school but it’s a PsyD program and he’s in the neuro field. He proceeded to mention that he failed a section of comps and almost got kicked out because he and his professor disagreed about the answer to a question. He got kinda agitated and I really didn’t know what to say. Ummm that’s okay?! Don’t throw your DSM-IV at me? He calmed down and reminded me that all things come to an end eventually. Hallelujah. Amen to that brother. “Gregory. Like Gregory Peck.”
M—You may want to sit down for these. Take some sedatives or at least make sure you aren’t eating or drinking anything. Granted I was in spandex (but that’s not unusual), maybe I’m giving off pheromones or I’m in heat or as my mom so poetically suggested, I had one breast hanging out. I dunno, but I give you signs 4 and 5 of the apocalypso.
4. Went to the gym, where I’m lucky if someone half looks up at me and offers a mild form of a grunt. I walk in and the good looking guy who usually looks like something of a thug, even though he’s distinctly Hispanic/Italian but could clean up well, is there. He says HI and SMILES. I almost fell over. What’s better about this is that he plays raquetball with the hot young guy who has a tattoo on his ankle, a great body, and a shaved head--and has given some of the better grunts previous to this. Better yet, he was looking at me on the treadmill. Hollla! Drop it like its hot Thug.
5. A new guy sitting on the bench in the gym said an even more enthusiastic hello and SMILED. I got on the treadmill and had to stand there for a minute as I realized that something was very wrong with that picture and that the apocalypso was surely on its way. New guy.
We knew it was bound to happen again. Redhead I think you started it. Thanks. No you sure as hell started it. Did I mention my gratitude? Thanks a lot. Oh. Jesus! Sign 6: I’ve got tomorrow off. Now do you realize why Riesling has appeared on my grocery list again?
“I can still smell summer on your skin and I can still remember giving in. Wrapped up all in your hips and your sheets felt grateful in. Sometimes I find I catch myself letting you back in but I’m so tired of singing all the sad songs in my head.”
My Problem has left Miami. End of the chapter.
1. I got to leave work early today. The FN decided that I’d done enough secretarial work to service the entire government, so I got to go work on my paper. I went to Borders, which has become my local coffee haunt. It’s great—it actually makes me feel like I’m a regular in this irregular world.
2. When I was there working, my law and psychology books scattered around me, a nice older gentleman sat down at the table next to me. He was drinking a mocha frappachino, which is unusual for a grown man of his age, given that hoochie mamas and ho bags like me take to them (although I was drinking a medium latte with gingerbread—true to form) much more than the Mr. Rodgers type. He asked me if I was in law school and I proceeded to tell him about the legal psych program. He thought it was so wonderful and found it very interesting; he was finishing up some sort of a medical degree. Later, he interrupted to ask if I had any children. I replied that I did not and he told me “Children are a beautiful thing, you’ll know when you have them.” We’d both just watch this big burly father ever so gently brush the hair off his daughters forehead. He mentioned how beautiful that site just was and then said he wished his children were young again so he could pick them up. He said that he wouldn’t interrupt me again. I said that it was no bother and it was actually very nice to have someone to talk to. He made a sweet and kind face and I have to use every muscle in my body to keep it together. Nick.
3. As I approached my car, I exchanged smiles and a hello with a nice looking man. He stopped and asked where he knew me from. I was like ummmm…he figured probably Borders. Ladies, you all KNOW I remember people. Although he wasn’t my type, I would have remembered if I had seen him given he was pretty distinctive. I noticed the DSM-IV in his hands and asked what program he was in. Have no idea what school but it’s a PsyD program and he’s in the neuro field. He proceeded to mention that he failed a section of comps and almost got kicked out because he and his professor disagreed about the answer to a question. He got kinda agitated and I really didn’t know what to say. Ummm that’s okay?! Don’t throw your DSM-IV at me? He calmed down and reminded me that all things come to an end eventually. Hallelujah. Amen to that brother. “Gregory. Like Gregory Peck.”
M—You may want to sit down for these. Take some sedatives or at least make sure you aren’t eating or drinking anything. Granted I was in spandex (but that’s not unusual), maybe I’m giving off pheromones or I’m in heat or as my mom so poetically suggested, I had one breast hanging out. I dunno, but I give you signs 4 and 5 of the apocalypso.
4. Went to the gym, where I’m lucky if someone half looks up at me and offers a mild form of a grunt. I walk in and the good looking guy who usually looks like something of a thug, even though he’s distinctly Hispanic/Italian but could clean up well, is there. He says HI and SMILES. I almost fell over. What’s better about this is that he plays raquetball with the hot young guy who has a tattoo on his ankle, a great body, and a shaved head--and has given some of the better grunts previous to this. Better yet, he was looking at me on the treadmill. Hollla! Drop it like its hot Thug.
5. A new guy sitting on the bench in the gym said an even more enthusiastic hello and SMILED. I got on the treadmill and had to stand there for a minute as I realized that something was very wrong with that picture and that the apocalypso was surely on its way. New guy.
We knew it was bound to happen again. Redhead I think you started it. Thanks. No you sure as hell started it. Did I mention my gratitude? Thanks a lot. Oh. Jesus! Sign 6: I’ve got tomorrow off. Now do you realize why Riesling has appeared on my grocery list again?
“I can still smell summer on your skin and I can still remember giving in. Wrapped up all in your hips and your sheets felt grateful in. Sometimes I find I catch myself letting you back in but I’m so tired of singing all the sad songs in my head.”
My Problem has left Miami. End of the chapter.
posted by Cat at 10:18 PM
2 Comments:
End of Chapter 1. Sigh nonetheless. I have many more to write.
You better write fast, girl. As I am a student of theology, I can tell you a few things about that apocalypso. (interesting, isn't it, how the witch/seductress CALYPSO from the Odyssey made her way into your new name for the end of the world which is mostly comprised of your temptress ways?) Anyway, the apocalypse will come fast and furious, I am told. One woman working in the fields will be taken up and the woman next to her will be left. If the damn phenomenon would hurry its ass up with a certain apocalyptic messenger here in the ATL, I wouldn't mind being the one Left Behind.
And, we wait.
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