My Carrie the crack whore moment
So Given a special request for a blog update, I’ve taken to two sugah cookies, the best Kittah in the world, and a glass of good Reisling. The wine make it just so Carrie Bradshaw, until I’m taken back into reality by having a fight with Manhattan over who gets to eat the cookies. She’s like her mommy and puts up a good fight. Speaking of mommies…
I got called “mami” today at Publix. It’s a very Miami-esque thing and I can’t say I like it. It connotes sexy young mami which I can’t really translate into English. It’s just awkward. Granted she was old enough to be my grandmother, but still. I guess at least it wasn’t a hot young guy…it screams out a bad Petey Pablo rap about how he likes to fuck his sexy “mamis.” Yep can’t do that. It would seriously kill anything I had for him…well lets be honest. I’d probably take issue with it, but I’m in Miami. I should take what I can get. To a certain point… But, I really don’t think I’m a pet name kinda girl. I don’t really think I’m a kinda girl. I mean there’s a certain seriousness that is just inherent in me. Oh! Thanks to the clothing god Carson, “mami” just oooooooozes SKANK. That’s why I don’t like it! Ha! I mean I’m okay with ho, but skank? That’s just too much.
I had a good moment at FIU today. I know, please don’t have a heart attack. Cynthia, you might wanna prepare yourself...sit down, maybe get a class of wine. I actually liked Miami for all of 10 seconds. Yep that’s right. What could make me like Miami you ask? You’re gonna love it. MIAMI DADE FIRE RESCUE. There were like 6 of them. Coming towards me. A WHOLE GROUP. It was like they were walking towards me in slow motion a la Baywatch babes, only they possessed the essential y-chromosome and they were firefighters. And then I thanked God that I spent 3 years in the real South cause I’m the nicest person on campus and I actually smile and say hello to people. PURRRRRR. Meow. And that wasn’t Manhattan. So I got to walk right by them and they said hello…go me. Needless to say, it was my happy heterosexual moment of the week.
Manhattan went to the vets today for a checkup. Turns out she’s probably only 10 weeks old and not 17. She’s a total baby!!! It was traumatizing…they attempted to shave her (to see if she had been spayed, which turns out is highly unlikely) and I hear this god-awful bloody murder scream from the other room. And like the mom who realizes the bad kid is her kid…I realize…that’s my Manhattan’s meow which slowly emerged from the curdling scream. Apparently she hated the noise, bit her own tounge, bit the technician, and pretty much threw a fit. She had to be cleaned off cause the technicians blood was everywhere. Yep that’s right. I’ve got the bad kid. I thought I’d be in trouble for the rest of the night, but she hasn’t wanted to leave my lap for it. I cant wait til next Friday though when she goes for her shots. Mwhaha. It’s a total Lynette moment from Desperate Housewives…the mom with the little monster(s). Ah. It’s the good life.
Oh that was gooood wine. Go me. I’m the fucking wine goddess. I’m actually working on a glass of wine, since I usually live the life of an alcohol abstinent bachelor. But tonight I’m trying to build up my tolerance so I don’t take my top off after two sips of a Malibu and Coke. If I can handle my wine, I can handle anything. Or I’ll just take my top off and might get lucky. Either way, wine is a good life decision.
I got called “mami” today at Publix. It’s a very Miami-esque thing and I can’t say I like it. It connotes sexy young mami which I can’t really translate into English. It’s just awkward. Granted she was old enough to be my grandmother, but still. I guess at least it wasn’t a hot young guy…it screams out a bad Petey Pablo rap about how he likes to fuck his sexy “mamis.” Yep can’t do that. It would seriously kill anything I had for him…well lets be honest. I’d probably take issue with it, but I’m in Miami. I should take what I can get. To a certain point… But, I really don’t think I’m a pet name kinda girl. I don’t really think I’m a kinda girl. I mean there’s a certain seriousness that is just inherent in me. Oh! Thanks to the clothing god Carson, “mami” just oooooooozes SKANK. That’s why I don’t like it! Ha! I mean I’m okay with ho, but skank? That’s just too much.
I had a good moment at FIU today. I know, please don’t have a heart attack. Cynthia, you might wanna prepare yourself...sit down, maybe get a class of wine. I actually liked Miami for all of 10 seconds. Yep that’s right. What could make me like Miami you ask? You’re gonna love it. MIAMI DADE FIRE RESCUE. There were like 6 of them. Coming towards me. A WHOLE GROUP. It was like they were walking towards me in slow motion a la Baywatch babes, only they possessed the essential y-chromosome and they were firefighters. And then I thanked God that I spent 3 years in the real South cause I’m the nicest person on campus and I actually smile and say hello to people. PURRRRRR. Meow. And that wasn’t Manhattan. So I got to walk right by them and they said hello…go me. Needless to say, it was my happy heterosexual moment of the week.
Manhattan went to the vets today for a checkup. Turns out she’s probably only 10 weeks old and not 17. She’s a total baby!!! It was traumatizing…they attempted to shave her (to see if she had been spayed, which turns out is highly unlikely) and I hear this god-awful bloody murder scream from the other room. And like the mom who realizes the bad kid is her kid…I realize…that’s my Manhattan’s meow which slowly emerged from the curdling scream. Apparently she hated the noise, bit her own tounge, bit the technician, and pretty much threw a fit. She had to be cleaned off cause the technicians blood was everywhere. Yep that’s right. I’ve got the bad kid. I thought I’d be in trouble for the rest of the night, but she hasn’t wanted to leave my lap for it. I cant wait til next Friday though when she goes for her shots. Mwhaha. It’s a total Lynette moment from Desperate Housewives…the mom with the little monster(s). Ah. It’s the good life.
Oh that was gooood wine. Go me. I’m the fucking wine goddess. I’m actually working on a glass of wine, since I usually live the life of an alcohol abstinent bachelor. But tonight I’m trying to build up my tolerance so I don’t take my top off after two sips of a Malibu and Coke. If I can handle my wine, I can handle anything. Or I’ll just take my top off and might get lucky. Either way, wine is a good life decision.
posted by Cat at 8:31 PM
4 Comments:
Um, I think wine is always a good life decision. Taking your top off might require a bit more discernment, but generally, on Friday nights, a good decision as well.
Since you appear to have a way with the fire fighters, can you please make an appearance at the station that is directly across the street from me and ask them to shut the hell up, at least from midnight to 8 a.m.? I mean, seriously, catastrophic fire or no, my sleeping rights should be respected.
I HEART YOU.
I'd be glad to go over to the station with my really good wine and then take my top off. I can't guarantee that they'd be completely quiet, but I'd be glad to do what I can. If not, at least you'll know they'd be (and I would too) having fun. What can I say, I'd love to increase the morale of the fire department and enhance your sleeping ability as well.
They are from Georgia, so they do have nice accents. I know this because I hear them yelling at godforsaken hours of the night.
Let's be honest, I'd be glad to reduce the yelling to a much more subtle sound. I'm getting my plane ticket....................mwhahaha
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